Steel City Cowboy

Friday, November 07, 2008

We Know Who Really Got a Puppy

"Sasha and Malia, I love you both so much. You have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the White House."

First of all, I've just come up with a new way to highlight anything that Mr. Obama says. His words (and words are the signature of the soul, no?) are so important, that it would be cool if someone could tell at a glance when looking at a page if Mr. Obama has been quoted there. You know, to assign an instant visual importance to the page itself, as well as to draw attention to the quote. I chose red. I don't think anyone's used that device before, and I find that a little surprising. It seems to be very useful. From here on out, you can be assured that anything quoted directly from Mr. Obama will be RED LETTER, whereas everything else will be in good old er... I'm not going to say that. Let's just say good old traditional print. And by the way, the words "RED LETTER" in the previous sentence aren't a quote from Mr. Obama. Fooled you! Ha. Don't worry -- I won't do that again. From now on, red lettering is reserved for one person and one person only.

Okay, with that important bit of administration out of the way, let's move on to the real thing:

"Sasha and Malia, I love you both so much. You have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the White House."

Sasha and Malia are getting a puppy.

But you know what?

We're all getting that puppy. Every one of us. Close your eyes, think about Mr. Obama and the great morality and goodness he will bring to our government, and you will feel that puppy, sitting in your lap. I swear it. It's there right now, for each and every one of us. Even for bad people like Mr. Putin and Mr. Ahmadinejad. They've gotten a puppy, too, and I hope they know it.

So to the haters who mock Mr. Obama by saying things like "Ooooo -- now we're all getting ponies"? We've just gotten a freaking for-real puppy. Not so smart now, are you?

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