Steel City Cowboy

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Such Is The Touch

Such is the touch
Of the Angel Barack
If he petted my dog,
My dog would talk.

If he sat on a lame man's lap
He would walk.
If he picked up a little dead bird
It would squawk.

If he danced with Coldplay
They would rock.
If he wrote a fugue --
Better than Bach!

But if his speech runs long tonight
And makes my DVR screw up Lost,
I'm going to be soooo pissed.

* I haven't listened to a political speech in years. It's not just this guy. If they have something important to say, don't say it. Do it. Or at least say it under oath.

** Also, sorry about the Coldplay thing. That's just too far. Even President Obama can't do anything for them.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Does this mean I'm better than them?

I remember noticing during the last Presidential campaign the tax breakdowns for the Democrat ticket. I also remember hearing then-candidate Obama talk about various ways in which Americans were poor citizens of the world (We need to speak more languages, etc.).

Seeing as conservatives (and particularly libertarians) are routinely bashed by leftists for not caring about the poor just because we don't think that handouts from a faceless distant government actually, you know, help anyone, I decided that they all must be paragons of that particular virtue. Democrats care about the poor. So, obviously that care must translate into action, no? It turns out that Generous!Joy and I gave more money to charity than Joe Biden did in every single year on record, and on a significantly lower AGI. So, if the Vice President is to be looked at as some kind of embodiment of the virtues and positions of his party (help the poor!), I'm even better than him!

As for the President's claim that we need to be better citizens of the world than we are... well, how many languages does he speak? How many? One. That's right. The guy who made a big deal out of the international appeal that having lived in different cultures could bring? One. English. I have two. Ish. But two-ish is more than one.

So, does this mean that I'm a better citizen of the world by the President's own criteria? Does this mean that I care more about the poor than Vice President Biden? I mean, it's easy for these guys to get up there and say "we need to care more about the poor" and "we need to be better citizens of the world," but which of us has actually, you know, put our time and sweat into such things?

As a bonus, I guarantee you that my IQ is higher than VP Biden's, whose evaluation of his own IQ is apparently very important to him. Does this mean that if I ever have the chance to talk to him, I can basically tell him to shut his pie hole like he told that reporter? Gosh I hope so. That would be a blast. Although I do have a kind of soft spot for the guy. He seems to lack that news-ready filter most of the Federal-level politicians have, which makes him refreshing. Just says what's on his mind. Which, mind you, isn't much, but it's something at least.